The Yob Report: Liverpool vs. Tottenham

By The Gaffer on February 7, 2012

Hello again,

Welcome to the Yob Report, the place where we honestly, really truly DON’T cover the world’s biggest matches and competitions: you do. The Yob Report is a collection of tweets, statuses and updates from the great unwashed. The masses. The people. We take the most idiotic (our favourite), funniest or insightful tidbits that you throw at us, and voila: match report.

Today we (you) cover Liverpool vs Tottenham. Both teams are embroiled in the race for a Champions League spot, with Spurs already firmly established in 3rd. The match ended a rather drab 0-0.

However, good people, this game was certainly not without its talking points. For instance, in the first half, a cat wandered onto the pitch. Twitter and Facebook lit up like a campfire.

Enjoy.

Andy Carroll was a hot topic in the preamble to the match. This fella seems to think that IF he had cost only 7 million pounds, then he’d be regarded as a good signing. Just the 28 million pounds off then.

Now, I only include this one because I think I am literally in love with the “text language” swap of the word “from” to “4rm.” It’s got everything! Creativity, Keyboard Savviness, the works.

“All we need is a Torres and we’ll be great!”…. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN THE LAST YEAR?!

I really just have no idea what this gentleman is on about. Porn star Carroll? If I’m missing something, and it would appear that I definitely, definitely am, please let me know.

Just Bale. And Messi.

Henry Winter is certainly not a Yob. But even he divulges in a little fun as the infamous cat enters the field of play.

I heard it was slinging around racial slurs at the other felines as well.

So… He’s tried his best. This witty little number is the Facebook equivalent of getting a “Participation” badge on School Sports Day.

In all seriousness, WHAT has Assou-Ekotto done with his hair?!

This is one of literally hundreds hollering that a Liverpool fan has just lost his dinner. Or escaped from the local kebab shop.

By far and away my favourite.

This is just a really nice sample of “The Yobs” that we’re talking about. I especially applaud the lady at the end for her witty inclusion of “meow” in reference to the cat incident, and then the rather awkward spelling of her support for Liverpool.